brenda’s thoughts, watch out I’m Christian

Went to the river yesterday

Wanted to spend the last day of the year doing something I love

Hoisted the kayak on the roof of the car

And headed up the road

Radio screaming

And me howling right along

I went to Juliet

A town filled with memories of the past year

I pushed myself into a wetsuit and water boots

I fit in my kayak like a pair of worn out jeans

Ragged and tattered but comfortable

Shove off with my hand against the rocky bottom

The water is icy

The wind is biting

Small craft advisory today

The river grabs hold and turns me around and around

I face into the wind, heading up stream

Dig deep with my strokes

A strong, deep rhythm

Stroke

Stroke

Left side, right side

Left side, right side

I pick up speed

I’m like a knife forcing myself to cut through the elements

Up my nose bounces

Down it smacks on the water

Splash and spray

Like frozen confetti in my face

Down I smack

Splash and spray

Stroke

Stroke

Left side, right side

Left side, right side

Down I smack

Splash and spray

Like a ride at the fair

Laughter rips out of me

To the island I head

To lie on the sand in the sun

Like lying in the arms of a lover

Happy and content

The year is done

Made it out to the river today

I went to the local boat ramp and found a quiet spot

I was not at the water’s edge

I scooted back to sit in the shade

And watch the water

Watch the sandy bottom

Watch the branches bob up and down in the current

Watch a bug track across my flip flop

Watch birds skim the surface

Watch butterflies dart

A lizard scurry

And hear the relentless sound of highway traffic behind me

Then came the onslaught of human traffic

First the grandfather showing his grandkids the river and demonstrating his unending knowledge of all things nature

Then two young Mexican men looking for a place to fish

Then two very young redneck boys also looking for a fishing spot and strangely enough carrying a white, well groomed poodle

Next came a fat woman who unlike any of the men who preceded her would not stop talking to me, she was married to one of the Mexican men and this was one of their favorite fishing spots, they had caught several last week from this very spot but the line kept breaking so they got stronger line and now they can’t catch anything, but her husband just loves it here because he’s from southern Mexico which is dense jungle and this river reminds him of home

She was very nice but I felt the desire to go walking

So I did

Everywhere I went there were people, in lawn chairs, fishing, leaning against trees, talking, eating a late lunch, on sandbars with small children who were wading in and digging in the sand,

So I walked away from the river toward the woods and swamp

And found isolation

I walked a dirt road with tall grass and brambles on either side

With each step crickets and grasshoppers went flying

There were hundreds

I could hear them chirp

I could hear them pop and snap and thud as they jumped out of my way and into the grass

I could hear them as they continued jumping in the grass

They were so loud that I considered that if a rattle snake were here I wouldn’t hear it for all these crickets and grasshoppers

But there was no rattle snake and I walked on

I felt the call of the wild to get off the dirt road and go into the forest

But unintelligently I had worn flip flops and could find no entry that was free enough of brambles

When the bushes and trees did finally part and let me in I was sure it was a gift from God

Just as I entered I walked right up to a very large and old spider web, it was like netting and I kid you not had a birds feather in it

I grabbed a stick and began whisking it back and forth in front of me to knock down any other webs I might come across, I whisked it so hard you could hear it whip the air as it passed in front of my face

Gingerly I walked on watching for poison ivy, snakes, spiders, etc

I came upon a pig trail, it wasn’t too new and it followed a creek bed so I followed too

Pig trails are great for walking through woods but you gotta know what you’re stepping in, that ain’t just dirt beneath your feet

I kept going deeper and deeper against reason and sanity as I also ways do

Till I came to a place on the pig trail that was fresh

Very fresh

I looked around, continuing to whisk my stick

And decided that since sweat was dripping down my face and mosquitoes were nibbling my forehead I should turn back

So I did

Just as I left the woods I caught site of the spider to which the giant web belonged

I wanted to tell all the woodland creatures to “run away, run away and hide”

Then I thought of Bilbo and his dagger Sting, personally I wouldn’t want o get that close to the spider,

My mind rambled on to squirt guns filled with Raid and then I was back on the dirt road surrounded by crickets and grasshoppers

Suddenly shots rang out, several shots

This is a no hunting zone

And that bozo is shooting right where I was just

I wonder if he was watching me, he had to have seen me

Jerk

Anyway, it was a good walk

I’ll have to go again

I’m wading chest deep in memories this morning

I friend sends and email, “we’re hiking a section of the AT want to come?”

I have hiked that section before and loved it,

It was in fact the last section I hiked

A nice leisurely weekend it was for me

Walking slowly

Writing poems

Enjoying the silence

Also where I picked up that water born bacteria

And where I fell and injured my knee

Which started me kayaking so I’m not complaining one bit

The knee is better

Man it was nice up there

I walked in clouds

Cool and quiet

And rested against soft lichen covered rocks

Alone and at peace

Also I’m watching
Galveston

And remembering        

We used to camp on the beach at the west end

We had so many tarps up during the day

Matt said it looked like tent-city

And at night I left the tent open so the breeze filled it up

First time I forgot to stake it down,

I had to chase my tent across the doons

We found tiny sea horses in the seaweed,

My brothers and I

I think,

Man that was a long time ago

We would come from Grandpa Louie’s house with a container of cold fried shrimp

And sit at cement picnic tables drinking Shasta sodas

and teasing the sea gulls with the tails of the shrimp we didn’t eat

Those birds would swoop in for anything, even rocks

Much like the alligators in the glades with paper wads

only sea gulls aren’t as aggressive when angered

lesson learned

so I’m remembering fun times

and waiting to be well enough to create more memories

I’m missing church this morning,

You know I’m sick when I miss church

May have to break down and go to the doctor

Maybe

Sewed up the frayed places of my old comforter last night

It’s funny how it brings me so much pleasure to accomplish so simple a task

I went to bed pleased with myself for having sewed up those holes

No I will not mend your stuff

And here I am talking to you as if you were an old friend

I do know who reads this blog

You are old friends

Some of you I haven’t seen in awhile

And I miss you

Sadly some of you I may never see again

To Howard, truly I mean to get back in shape and hopefully get back on the trail

I was just looking at the photos and map yesterday

I only have 24.9 miles to finish
Georgia

Sounds like a nice weekend to me

Answered another email about the river last night

People are always asking me about the river just because I have a site

I’m bragging

I googled the river and it is third on the list, that’s pretty cool

Used to be page three or four

Someone once, many years ago praised me highly for knowledge of the river

I stopped him in his tracks and said, ‘there are lots of folks who know more than me about the river”:

He said, “but none of them wrote about it, you are the queen because you wrote it down”

His words not mine

I haven’t even looked at the river in …..let alone been on it

Man I need to go walking in the woods

Soon it will be fall, cooler weather,

The spiders and insects will disappear with the foliage

The swamps will dry up to soggy streams

And the ground will become crisp and hard under your step

There is a trail under the bridge where the puddles always freeze

past the small island where alligator stretch out on sunny days

that follows the river around the bends

where large boar and deer are

this is where I would like to go

just go,

sometimes following hunters ribbons sometimes not

walk till the sun fades and the darkness threatens

and you rushing to the car before you can’t see at all

and maybe, just maybe

I won’t be alone

If I’m lucky and very quiet

I’ll see some animals that even hunters dream of

There’s my fantasy for when I’m well

After the papers are graded

and the house is clean

and the bills are paid

This is my last day before getting back to work

Tomorrow I start writing lesson plans

Next week I’ll be in the classroom cleaning

So on my last day

I went to the lake

A blue heron met me at the waters edge

I paddled out to the big rocks

The water level was so low that I could hardly recognize any of the rocks

They seemed tumbled over or moved around

I pulled up on a sandy / rocky beach

Grabbed a float and jumped in

The water was refreshing

I lay mostly submerged in the water

Floating motionless

The clouds passed over

Fisherman went by

I was still

Till I got cold

And scrambled on top of a big rock to warm up

Lightly toasted I started exploring

I ended up sitting on a rock in knee deep water

A kind of freshwater tide pool

Watching small critters dart around and eat algae off the rocks

After a lunch

Ham sandwich with strawberry soda and a brief paddle

I ended up back in the water

Little fish, minnows and brim hovered just out of reach

Like the kittens on the back porch

Tried to feed them but they don’t like Oreos

Fish don’t like chocolate

Who knew

Took about 20 to 30 pictures with my phone

Then jumped in one last time

I heard this loud buzzing

I thought a bee had gotten trapped in my shirt

I was freaking out

Then I saw it

My phone was in my pocket

Man,

I am not good with phones this summer

Oh and the corner store is still out of cream soda

They said they’d put it on the grocery list

Do you know I have been coming to this lake for 16 years

Man

And so ended my last day of summer

Sigh

Archeology on the river
you can’t beat that with a stick
Really, I’m working hard here

late archaic, quartz, projectile

totally cool
I found it
oh yeah
I rock
rock
get it
don’t make fun of the hat

Tonight I pulled someone out of the mud/sand with my new car

I’ve never done that before

I was so excited

Let me tell you

First I’ve been home with dood who has me frying fish for him every day

My other kids (Sarah, her husband, his brother) all come over

With Roscoe

(Bassett hound)

We’re all sitting on the back porch swatting mosquitoes and laughing

When we notice Roscoe has taken off

He’s probably out in the woods behind the house

A clay-pit, of course

But it’s dark and he’s afraid of the dark

So everybody goes out looking

The kids took their truck

Pretty soon they’re stuck in the sand

No one else had four wheel-drive that was working except me

So I had to go down there and pull them out

I was so excited

I’ve never pulled anyone out

Everyone’s always pulling me out

How cool!

I purposely choose to think about the good stuff I did at the lake the other day

Here, walk with me through my memory for a minute

First there were a lot of animals

Deer,

They have to be the dumbest animals on the planet

They just stand on the side of the road and look at you

They can’t possibly be good sport for a human hunter

Then there’s the newer car

Well first I was worried that the rocks were hitting the side and scratching the paint so I didn’t drive very fast

Then I was worried that someone would steal the kayak off the top so I stayed where I could see it

Then I was scared someone would steal the car so I didn’t stop in the wilder more interesting places that I usually do

Ugh!

I gotta take that thing out mud-bogging and wash the new factor off of it

So I’m out on the water, it’s early in the morning

And I see this thing

So I paddle over real quiet,

It’s wiggling on the surface and it’s big

As I get closer it’s scaly

Now I’m a little concerned

But I keep paddling quietly till I’m right up beside it

It’s the biggest fish I’ve ever seen on this lake, about three feet long and fat as my thigh

Is it dead, caught in a trap or something

I dribble water on its back with my paddle

And it takes off

It must have been asleep

Weird

I also saw a long brown snake slithering its way across the surface

So I paddled over toward it

But it stopped

And looked at me as if to say

Don’t

So I paddled away

When a snake talks, you listen

Or take a shovel to its head, I didn’t have a shovel

Saw some birds, or they saw me and flew away

I think they were Osprey, all white on the belly; I need to look them up

Went swimming, at the other end of the lake

The water was warm, almost as warm as pee

But not, it was shallow,

I walked on deserted beaches

So I’m walking all alone on this deserted beach wearing my old lady bathing suit, a giant straw hat and comfortable water shoes when I suddenly stop and say,

“When in the world did I turn into my mom, my grandma and my great grandma before me?”

In the words of a cartoon character I detest, “this is them, this is so them”

I found a shady tree, hanging over a small beach beside the water,

Pulled my kayak way, way, way up

Used my life jacket as a cushion

Found the food, water, book, and art-journal

And fell asleep

Am I too old for this stuff?

I hope not

It’s all I know

went to the lake and the river and the woods
I’ll tell you all about it in a minute
… or two, I gotta rest
I’m too old for this stuff