brenda’s thoughts, watch out I’m Christian

On a personal note; I took the tests. I love tests. I’m a teacher. Every time I take one of these tests I always turn out to have …multiple characteristics (I refuse to say personalities). Seriously one time during a teacher’s meeting we did this fun get-to-know-the -teachers-you-work-with game. I ended up standing in the middle of the room alone because according to the ‘what kind of teacher are you’ test I had equal shares of all traits. I call it multi-faceted but that’s not what they said.

I’m determined to learn these steps

But

Seriously I’m bad

 But I love it so I don’t care

They always end with a waltz for a cool down

There is something very sad about watching elderly ladies do the waltz as a line dance all by themselves

I just know that they are remembering dancing this with their husband

And now they’re going home alone to eat a sandwich

Is it really better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all

I can’t imagine that’s it worth the sorrow

I wanted to go down front and throw myself on the alter

Begging forgiveness for dating foolishly again

Then it hit me

I always do that

Ask forgiveness of God after the fact

What I should be doing is asking permission before I ever begin

I should be at the alter the moment I lay eyes on a fella

Instead of thinking I can handle it on my own

Day dreaming

Wouldn’t it be great to date a man who says, “We need to ask Gods permission and blessing on this relationship”

And has the backbone to do it at the alter in front of the church,

Of course somewhere out there is a man thinking,

“Wouldn’t it be great to meet a woman who stood up for her own convictions and didn’t expect me to carry her spirituality”

Separate but equal

That’s why we have different bathrooms

I’m so funny

I almost died

Not literally

I went to a line dance class

It as so fun

Now you gotta know that I can’t remember dance steps to save my life

Once at a dance

I almost killed a man

Kinda

I twirled this way

When everyone else had twirled that way

And I twirled right into this fella

I knocked him right over

Then I stomped this other fella’s foot

It was sad

So tonight

There are all these elderly ladies

And they are good

Really good

I tried

But

I can’t remember steps to save my life

And

I’m just too young to be so out of shape

All those ladies just kept going

Not me

But it was fun

Really

And

In the end

The instructor was dancing with his wife

They looked so good together

Like they were made for each other

I almost cried

You know that is the second show of real love I have seen in two days

Maybe I’ll see one very day

I hope so

Yesterday

There was a fella at church

We were talking about a mutual friend

Then he went off on the tangent of his wife

He began smiling and

His eyes watered

“She’s been dead 14 years now”

He said

“You still love her, don’t you”

“Of course

I’ll be buried right next to her when I die”

Man!

Love, when it’s right

Is amazing

I don’t usually get into the social/political arena but,
Durn!
Here’s two articles I snagged today
off our beloved internet media
Does it matter if he’s a lousy lover?
And!
A new campaign is aimed at getting every adult in the Bronx tested for HIV
Well?
Do they want us all having sex with everyone else or not?
You know the general public is too stupid to figure it out on there own!

… enough self pity

it isn’t attractive 

Finally

I’m reading it for fun between study sessions.

So far the chapter on ‘falling in love’ was right on target.

I told you ‘love’ and being ‘in love’ ain’t the same.

One is temporary and the other ain’t.

Trying not to say or think what’s really on my mind

I miss the relationship

Even though he was wrong for me

I miss the relationship

The attention

The touch

The companionship

The private, shared moments

The look that carries so much

It’s the being in the relationship that I must miss most because look at me, since the moment he left I’ve gone back to doing all the things that I love that I stopped doing while he was with me

So even though my heart yearns for the relationship my head says, “hold on a minute there missy”

It wasn’t as good as I wanted to believe it was

It couldn’t have been

My friends have been saying it for …since the beginning

Sometimes you gotta do what is good for you like not eat all those potato chips at one time rather than what you want

He wasn’t right for me

I wish he were

I really wish I could see these things ahead of time

Someone once said that her “picker was broke” cause she couldn’t pick the right man to save her life

Maybe mine too

That’s right up there with the bag of potato chips baby

On the subject of marriage and remarriage; is it right to be married or remarried or it is right to remain single? So many of my friends are getting married / remarried and so many others of my friends are wondering, “Why aren’t I getting married? Am I supposed to be single forever? Why hasn’t God shown me the right person? Am I supposed to single forever?”  The last question is so important that we usually all ask it at least twice.

Are we supposed to be single? Well yes and no. It depends on you and who you are and what God’s plan for you is. God certainly created man and woman to be a set, to create new life and to be helpmates to one another. God also blessed Paul who chose to be single so that he could do God’s work undistracted. So what’s the answer?

Well here are a few questions for you;

Do you believe in God? I hope so.

Does God have a plan and purpose for your life? Yes.

Are you working God’s plan? Maybe

Are you working your own plan? Probably.

Do you need help working any plan? I say yes, no and maybe here because we all need God’s help but we may not all need the help of a mate.

Are you listening to God’s will in your life? I hope so.

If God directed you in a direction that you didn’t like or wasn’t sure of would you go anyway? Gees, probably not.

Do you see my point? Only God knows whether or not he has a marriage in store for you but you’ll never know if you don’t follow his will, not yours. Your mate and the answer to this question obviously isn’t in any of the places you’ve been looking so far or you would have already found them. Right? So why not follow God in some of those places you’d rather not go, which is probably inside of a church or Bible study or just down a road of stricter obedience! I know that’s where I need to take my single self.