brenda's thoughts, watch out I'm Christian

A friend sent me this in response to my question "Is love a commitment to stay together no matter what?" A fella told me that once right after I broke up with him and I've pondered it ever since

"About the "love is a commitment to stay together no matter what" statement, I think that this statement should not be applied to a relationship until the couple involved have known each other long enough and well enough to see the very worse side of each other. Then, if you can tolerate each other's worst side without feeling the responsibility to change the other person and you want to spend the rest of your life with that person, then yes, you should make that commitment. The problem that I've seen is that too many people make that statement too early in the relationship. Then they wind up with something totally different than what they thought they were getting. Some people don't really want to wait long enough to find out about the "worst" side. They would rather close their eyes and hope it all works out. Some times it does and some times it doesn't."

Another friend sent me this.
"Search your heart with God. You are the only one that can work this out with God. You are a mighty fortress and God's woman of integrity. God has given you the Holy Spirit to make these decisions. Lean on Him."
Which doesn't answer my question at all but does remind me what I should do for the answer to this and all questions.

Love, love, all you need is love, da, da, da, da
but what the heck is it!
is there a rule book

My students are taking the CRCT. It is very stressful for the students and for the teachers.

Every morning at 9 am we say a prayer together. This week the kids pray like this, "help me to pass the CRCT", "make us smart to pass the CRCT". This week I prayed "open our eyes Lord to the wondrous creatures that we are, that we may know and believe that we are glorious because God made us and he made us in his image".

This is, of course, an attempt to boost their self esteem. Being in the middle of a test is bad for the self confidence, (mark those words). Once its over it's a different story.

So,

This morning, after having spent a delightful evening with my very handsome boyfriend, I was feeling old, older by the minute and wondering, "How much longer till he finds a younger, prettier model" when a sermon came on the radio.

Can you already sense God at work here?

In the sermon was a story of a man who listened to Satan talk down to him. The man, fortified by the Holy Spirit, told Satan, "let me tell you what o got" and began listing his blessings.

Can you feel God at work now?

I, listening in my car while driving to work, began naming my blessings out loud too.

I have two and a half amazing youngins. I have a job I love. I have students who try so hard to please me. I have a boyfriend who takes me to fabulous restaurants, sends me flowers and tells me he loves me. I am blessed! I am so blessed!

You are too! We just can't see our blessings for all our fussing and complaining.

God is at work here and in your life too.

What blessings have you got that you need to stop fussing over and simply rejoice in?

The thing is so many people go through hard times without realizing the truth in the old saying "it builds character" what it actually builds is strength of character, the ability to stand up, speak out, stand tough, be strong

This is what is gained from trials,

This is what we need,

This is why the Bible says, "I will count it all profit"

Because it is

It broke my heart o see my student go through trials but I couldn't stop the trials, she had to do it herself, if I stopped them they would come again in another form on another day when I wasn't there to protect her,

She had to do it herself,

We all have to be able to do it ourselves,

That kind of strength is learned not innate

Of an angry young lady

Her world had been torn apart

She was too timid to truly express her anger

So she rebelled in every way she could find

Even though it was not her nature

She met a friend

She loved her friend because her friend was bad

She clung to her friend out of spite

But her friend was bad

Her friend used her

Hurt her

Hurt her hurt till she couldn't take it

And she pushed her friend away

But her friend was powerful

Again her friend hurt her

Again she pushed her friend away

This went on so long that the young lady developed muscles

The kind you need when you stand up for yourself

When you find your voice

And she found her voice

And she said I am angry, this is not right, I shouldn't be treated this way

And people listened

And she felt better

And she became the lovely young lady she was meant to be

No, this is not me but I know this person very well

I have decided to give up the house

There are lots of houses out there

I will wait till summer to continue the house hunt

I am at peace it with it

And so is my son

Also

WARNING WARNING WARNING

Reading this blog may be hazardous to the emotional health

If you're a man heed this warning,

Reading this blog has a serious side affect

It makes male readers, hopefully not females, become unnecessarily attached to its author

DANGER WILL ROBINSON DANGER

The author is a cold hearted... person who is emotionally unavailable

Stop before someone else gets hurt

Seriously

Now
I'm off to the lake to paddle and play
like I'm not 44
and have to go back to work in two days
hopefully I'll get some sun

We've been without a home,

A place of our own,

For so long,

That I'm well acquainted with the idea that,

Maybe,

Just maybe,

I wasn't meant to have a place of my own,

Some people are,

And some people aren't,

Then,

As I adjust myself to this way of thinking,

I find a home,

Now I don't know what to do.

There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance- that principle is contempt prior to investigation.
Herbert Spencer

I used to have nightmares all the time as a kid but once I got saved they stopped, honestly, one night in my dream I turned around and faced the monster chasing me and said, "You can't hurt me, cause God is on my side" then I started laughing. My nightmares pretty much stopped,

Tonight's was about my x-husband and his "if I can't have you then no one will" ideology. In my dream my kids were still very young and he had planted a bomb in the house and, of course, it took on a very dream like state and the house came alive to trap us until the bomb went off. The whole thing only tells you what being in an abusive relationship feels like.

If any of you can relate to this I'm gonna tell you right now that the Hodac, Divorce Care and Celebrate Recovery programs helped me to know end.

If you're trapped there is help. You can be free. God will guide you through and never leave your side, there are programs and people to help you release those inner demons that climb in your head and heart, God is with you, opening up those old packed away fears was the scariest thing I ever did but God was with me, he never left me, often carried me. The freedom from those memories and thoughts is so sweet I just can't describe it.

God is with you. He can help.

Some irritatingly evil force had been keeping me from it

I saw it tonight at 9:30 at the dollar 99cent theatre

Not a very fairytale like setting I admit

But the movie was precious,

I was about to start believing in true love and happily ever after

When I walked out to the parking lot

And someone had ‘tapped' my car

So I left them a very wicked witch like note,

Took their tag number

And was still able to make it home just before midnight

That's the problem with real life

There's never a prince around to save the day

You gotta do it yourself

They have a habit of taking a walk around the yard. They do this about twice a day. They walk, hold hands and talk. Oh I know, ‘how sweet!'

What I find so odd is that they tell the same stories and point out the same trees and flowers or birds nests that they been telling and talking about for over 40 years and these stories are met with the same amount of wonder and admiration as if they've just heard it for the first time! I know I've heard all of them at least a million times.

I watch them walk, hands held, bodies close enough to bump into each other when one waddles or sways unsteadily and I'm awe struck. All I can think is they aren't growing old alone and I'm glad for them.