Saturday, January 24, 2009

tankas, a form of Japanese poetry

I wrote this for a forum on tankas, (a form of Japanese poetry that has a 5,7,5,7,7 count) but I was kicked out of the forum for insulting someone who insulted someone else, but that’s what I get, I wouldn’t let my students get away with it so why should I expect to. Anyway, now I’ll just post it here.

 

A work in progress

 

The first daffodil

Bloomed last week in my dad’s yard

If it weren’t alone

I would have picked it for sure

More will come so I will wait

 

Beautiful flower

Bright yellow in winter’s grey

Brimming with sunshine

This cold January day

Singing, “Spring is on its way”

 

I’m trying to stop rhyming

 

One single flower

With a great task before it

A scout, forerunner

Breaking ground, clearing the way

Bringing hope of warmer days

 

I’m bundled up tight

Against winter’s frosty air

A daffodil blooms

All I do is stare at it

I’d forgotten about spring

 

I’m trying to stop speaking in phrases/sentences too, which is hard because I spent yesterday morning correcting papers. I’ll be seeing capitalization, comas, ending marks, and run on sentences in my sleep for days.

 

I’m trying to stop

I’m trying to not write rhyme

I’m trying to stop

Stop writing in short phrases

But it happens every time

 

Maybe I have a poetic handicap

 

Beautiful yellow

Background of grey, brown and dull

Snags my attention

Image imprinted … still

Ray of hope, I remember

 

Durn, I thought I’d never that thing out

Posted by brenda at 13:56:39
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