brenda's thoughts, watch out I'm Christian

a gift to me from someone special
 
It's all about

Comfort,

Tenderness,

And compatibility.

It's about how much we are the same

Yet very different.

It's about that ahhhh haaaa moment

When you realize that you have found someone that pierces your very soul.

It's about willy nilly chaos.

It's about the quiet way you look at me,

Wanting to say so much yet never saying enough.

It's about my heart staying on your street every night.

It's about so much Brenda.

Your smile,

Your giggle,

You're "you better stop that" look.

Your "I can't believe you said that" look.

Your "I know exactly what you are thinking" look.

It's about joy,

Laughter

And happiness.

Takes your breath away,

Don't it,

Took mine

Here's

A few lines from my students

They crack me up

And make me proud

"Shoes is my fruit of the soul"

"Four wheeler

Mud slinging

Tires spinning

Stuck"

"Did you ever think when a hearse goes by,

My students are taking the CRCT. It is very stressful for the students and for the teachers.

Every morning at 9 am we say a prayer together. This week the kids pray like this, "help me to pass the CRCT", "make us smart to pass the CRCT". This week I prayed "open our eyes Lord to the wondrous creatures that we are, that we may know and believe that we are glorious because God made us and he made us in his image".

This is, of course, an attempt to boost their self esteem. Being in the middle of a test is bad for the self confidence, (mark those words). Once its over it's a different story.

So,

This morning, after having spent a delightful evening with my very handsome boyfriend, I was feeling old, older by the minute and wondering, "How much longer till he finds a younger, prettier model" when a sermon came on the radio.

Can you already sense God at work here?

In the sermon was a story of a man who listened to Satan talk down to him. The man, fortified by the Holy Spirit, told Satan, "let me tell you what o got" and began listing his blessings.

Can you feel God at work now?

I, listening in my car while driving to work, began naming my blessings out loud too.

I have two and a half amazing youngins. I have a job I love. I have students who try so hard to please me. I have a boyfriend who takes me to fabulous restaurants, sends me flowers and tells me he loves me. I am blessed! I am so blessed!

You are too! We just can't see our blessings for all our fussing and complaining.

God is at work here and in your life too.

What blessings have you got that you need to stop fussing over and simply rejoice in?

With words and experiences

From students, boyfriend, children and the like

(you're a bad teacher, get out of my space, don't talk to me, you're going to meet my mother, tell me you missed me, what's for dinner, are you paying for it, did you remember to pick up the milk, you're not paying enough attention to me, you're not paying enough attention to me, you're not paying enough attention to me)

Everything echoing, echoing in my head

So

I run

As fast as I can

Like a crazy man

As far as I could

Probably farther than I should

Just to get away

If only I could stay

So very, very far away

So

I left my kayak at home

I put on flip flops on purpose

I don't want to move

I want to be still

To sit by the river

And hear what it has to say

So

I climbed up on a rock

That I knew very well

In this place I began an acquaintance

With both a river and a man

"Cut straight across till you get to the middle then go straight ahead between the rocks, there will be more shoals later but deal with what's in front of you now"

Relationships are like rivers fun and dangerous at the same time

If relationships are like rivers

Then rapids are sex

And a good set of shoals can make your breath quicken

If relationships are like rivers

Now here's a thought worth pondering on

Some rivers go on forever

They're wide, mighty and strong

Most of what I write

Won't make it to the web

So much of what we think

Should never be said

After that

I stopped today

At the Whistle Stop Café

Up in Juliet

Where the no cell signal can find you

I sat by a window

The rain coming down

I could see it splash on the river

And all around

The train went by,

The music was country,

The ketchup bottle was glass
And the ketchup wouldn't come out

The burger was hand formed and oddly shaped,

Grilled in the back

Greasy and enormous

The flavor was unbelievable

So I ate and ate

A cowboy strides in

His step is over confident

But catches my eye

Tourists are here too

Accents in sandals

But they keep the town afloat

So

I'm up in Juliet where no cell phone can reach

To listen and hear what the river can teach

Is it God or the river I'm listening to today?

It's funny to think a river has something to say

After all it was God who create every rock in its bed

So why oh why would I listen to it instead

Instead of the creator

Of this stretch of nature

So

I take the trail at the bottom of the dam

Cross the wet wood bridge

To walk the narrow muddy path

To the metal grate over rushing water

Where young men

Dare each other to dive in

Deep

I take the ladder in hand

And climb up to the top of the dam

But do not walk out where the water goes over

Leave that to the stupid

There are plenty that will

So

I sat on the top

Feeling the vibration of water through the concrete

The mist on my face from the water crashing below

The birds in a frenzy for the insects above

And watched the people fish from the dam and from rock

Cast out, reel in

Cast out, reel in

Move from rock to rock, turn around, turn around then do it again

Didn't catch anything, makes a face

Cast out, reel in

Cast out, reel in

Move from rock to rock, turn around, turn around then do it again

Maybe it's my bait, are there even any fish

Cast out, reel in

Cast out, reel in

Move from rock to rock, turn around, turn around then do it again

Finally, finally a fish he's caught, will he keep it or will he not

Cast out, reel in

Cast out, reel in

Move from rock to rock, turn around, turn around then do it again

Look at the river

Imprint what you see

Listen to the river

Embed it in your memory

Learn from the river

Take it with you when you go

Remember; remember the soothing affect of its flow

We all need comfort

We all have burdens to bear

God gives us a lot

God gives us means of support and comfort

It up to us to take them

One of my favorite comments, which has been said several times, is the honest response "I like reading about your adventures because I have no intention of going out in the woods myself"
One of my least favorite responses is "I'd love to go out it in the woods with you"

No you wouldn't,

Do you like the feel of muddy water between your toes, most people don't
Can you loose your fear of the wood, wild animals and muddy water most people can't

Can you endure the scratches and nicks of brambles to get to the clearing on the other side, most people won't

Let me go in alone, I'll tell you all about it when I get back

Last week I went out to the duck pond,
If your local you might know where that is,
If not...it's at the far end of lake Tobosofekee,
The whole area never got more than knee deep,
I became very good at the shallow stroke,
The water was so churned that the silt level made the lake more like soup,
I could feel the difference with each stroke,
Several times it got so shallow that I couldn't paddle at all, I had to pole,
Then it got so shallow I had to get out and just plane drag it,
There were loons (birds) flocks of them that I would sneak up on and chase away like running at seagulls on the beach
It was fun, except I was in my kayak
I saw no other wildlife, except the beloved Canadian Goose, but it was a pretty busy place, lots of people fishing, lots of noise, if I were an animal I'd hide too
I did find a turtle for my class we named him squirt,
He now resides in his own tank in my classroom with minnows brought in for him to eat

Can't think of anything else that happened, that I can tell you about, continue praying for my students if you already do and start if you don't, they need it bad and hey so do their teachers

from now till the end of the year,

(31 days).

Today we worked on blank verse,

but I couldn't make anything but free stuff.

made some examples and put them on the board

read some  Maya Angelo out loud

her stuff

man

that's good

my kids

they move to the iambic rhythm

our wall of poetic expression is getting fuller

these are my examples

Rain

Wet

Coming down

Straight

On my head

And down my face

Dripping off my chin

Making me grin

Rain

It's like thoughts

Whatever you feel

Random thoughts

Thrown down on white paper

That reveal

Your inner most thoughts

Or just

Whatever's on top

And can be said

In a crowd that probably ain't listening anyway

Helping boys with their poems

Here's my advice

Don't be the mechanic

Be the salesperson

Don't tell me about the parts

Tell me why I need this car

The thing is so many people go through hard times without realizing the truth in the old saying "it builds character" what it actually builds is strength of character, the ability to stand up, speak out, stand tough, be strong

This is what is gained from trials,

This is what we need,

This is why the Bible says, "I will count it all profit"

Because it is

It broke my heart o see my student go through trials but I couldn't stop the trials, she had to do it herself, if I stopped them they would come again in another form on another day when I wasn't there to protect her,

She had to do it herself,

We all have to be able to do it ourselves,

That kind of strength is learned not innate

Of an angry young lady

Her world had been torn apart

She was too timid to truly express her anger

So she rebelled in every way she could find

Even though it was not her nature

She met a friend

She loved her friend because her friend was bad

She clung to her friend out of spite

But her friend was bad

Her friend used her

Hurt her

Hurt her hurt till she couldn't take it

And she pushed her friend away

But her friend was powerful

Again her friend hurt her

Again she pushed her friend away

This went on so long that the young lady developed muscles

The kind you need when you stand up for yourself

When you find your voice

And she found her voice

And she said I am angry, this is not right, I shouldn't be treated this way

And people listened

And she felt better

And she became the lovely young lady she was meant to be

No, this is not me but I know this person very well

My students are a joy to me

Some of them went to the beach for spring break

This morning I was handed a half gallon Ziploc bag of damp sand,

And a few seashells

I loved it

Tomorrow they'll write about joy,

A fruit of the spirit

How can I make them understand something that even CS Lewis had trouble explaining?

I'm pretty sure he said something like

‘What joy is to me it won't be to you nor will your joy be mine'

For me

Joy is a bag of sand

Unasked for and happily given

Joy is a child who trusts you enough to asks for a hug

When she has trouble expressing her needs

Joy is a perfectly placed paddle

On the smooth surface of a quiet lake in the mist of an early morning

Joy is the surprise

that someone loves you

Joy is a life filled with simple pleasure

The smell of coffee in the morning,

Flowers that bloom in the spring

Raindrops that echo on the roof

Old songs that play in the radio

Joy is a friend

Who understands you even you express yourself badly

Who cares enough to give up what they don't want to

Joy is a savior...

Who never leaves you,

Never forgets you,

Never stops caring, giving, loving, understanding or forgiving

Joy is the knowledge

That when everything is wrong God is still in control