God is soooooo good
I got a place for me and dood to live
A house
In town
In his school zone
And my new neighbors and Northside Eagle fans
This is amazing
I’ve been so busy going back and forth between
Worrying and praising God
That I forgot what an occasion this is
My time in the tin box is coming to an end
I’m moving out of the camper
Man!
Almost time to go back
I’ve been up at the school cleaning the classroom
its a surreal time
I’m wearing shorts,
walking barefoot to the copier
the radio is cranked up
I can have food lying around the room
and check and reply to emails without hesitation
Went to the cafeteria for my free meal and was welcomed like a celebrity
Its was really funny
Not cause the kids were excited
But because the staff was beside themselves
I was greeted so whole heartedly
That I can only imagine that it has been a very long summer
back in the school its back to business
I’m also discovering who my students will be
pray for my new babies,
they need it bad
there’s always that unnecessary debate, “to look at the files before you meet the kids or not”
and then of course the “what are you putting on your bulletin board”
And “are you doing a theme this year”
And “where will we go for lunch”
Here’s a piece of insider information
Teachers talk more than students
and tons of meetings
And training sessions
Oh, oh, oh
Let me tell you
A wonderful blessing of confirmation
God loves me
I was worried about my boss’s reaction to my going to Africa
But
Guess what
Guess who is going to Kampala, Uganda, Africa this January
My boss!
She and her family are visiting an orphanage
A different one
Lots of orphanages
Lots of orphans
Lots of need
So we’ve had the best time chatting about shots and packing and the government and the civil war and malaria and …
You wouldn’t think that would make good conversation
But we love it
Confirmation
I love being loved by God
Like two trails in the wood
Long I stood and pondered
At the place that I stood
I wondered long and hard
At the pleasure I’d leave behind
Terrible suffering I endured
As it fed upon my mind
Would my choice become bitter
Alone and without love
If I forsook all worldly passions
For the sake of God above
Why was I put upon this earth
Why am I here, I cried
Is love and pleasure my only purpose
I can’t believe it, I’ve tried
It cannot be, It cannot be
Surely there’s greater meaning than this
That God in all his glory
Would create us all for such shallowness
Tell me what my purpose is
Tell me I beg of you
Tell me what you made me for
Tell me and I’ll follow you
…
And tell me he did
And I was much pleased
And it filled my heart
And I sank to my knees
And I cried out to God
And he took away my shame
And now he carries my burden
And now I carry his name
To everyone who will listen
And even those who will not
He is your heavenly father
Your redemption has already been bought
Your purpose is to follow him
Where ever he may lead
And carry his name of your lips
To all who will heed
And love one another
Just as he has taught
And tell how he’s helped you
And all the joy he has brought
Because that’s what love does
And God is love above all
He’ll never leave your side
He’ll catch you when you fall
I saw my life before me
Like two trails in the wood
Long I stood and pondered
At the place that I stood
But now I have chosen
And on the this trail I trod
Not a life of self pleasing
But a life of pleasing God
This is my last day before getting back to work
Tomorrow I start writing lesson plans
Next week I’ll be in the classroom cleaning
So on my last day
I went to the lake
A blue heron met me at the waters edge
I paddled out to the big rocks
The water level was so low that I could hardly recognize any of the rocks
They seemed tumbled over or moved around
I pulled up on a sandy / rocky beach
Grabbed a float and jumped in
The water was refreshing
I lay mostly submerged in the water
Floating motionless
The clouds passed over
Fisherman went by
I was still
Till I got cold
And scrambled on top of a big rock to warm up
Lightly toasted I started exploring
I ended up sitting on a rock in knee deep water
A kind of freshwater tide pool
Watching small critters dart around and eat algae off the rocks
After a lunch
Ham sandwich with strawberry soda and a brief paddle
I ended up back in the water
Little fish, minnows and brim hovered just out of reach
Like the kittens on the back porch
Tried to feed them but they don’t like Oreos
Fish don’t like chocolate
Who knew
Took about 20 to 30 pictures with my phone
Then jumped in one last time
I heard this loud buzzing
I thought a bee had gotten trapped in my shirt
I was freaking out
Then I saw it
My phone was in my pocket
Man,
I am not good with phones this summer
Oh and the corner store is still out of cream soda
They said they’d put it on the grocery list
Do you know I have been coming to this lake for 16 years
Man
And so ended my last day of summer
Sigh
This morning I heard David Jeremiah on the radio say something that made sense kinda. He was talking about being filled with the Holy Spirit in your daily walk. It was amazing because I had just heard an almost identical sermon the night before and another the night before that. God is talking. Am I listening? I hope so.
One of the points that stuck with me this morning and was re-emphasized later was from 1 Thessalonians 5:19 “Quench not the Spirit” It does not mean you loose your salvation. It does mean (my translation) that you’ve push back or not satisfied or lessened the enthusiasm in your relationship with God.
So this morning I’m down at the river doing my early morning ‘being still and trying to listen’ thing, greatly enjoying the time with God and learning a lot actually. I got hungry and you know where I went. Waffle House! As I’m getting out of the car the Holy Spirit urges me to take my Bible inside and read while I eat. I didn’t want to so I didn’t. This is not a sin. I’m not going to hell for that.
I go inside and some of my peace has left me and (and, and, and)Satan starts messing with me. The greetings of the employees seem hallow and insincere. They can’t serve me fast enough. They seem to be ignoring me. I’m a little snappy with the poor waitress. When I realize what’s happened I promise to grab my Bible and read when I get through eating. Seriously, I felt better. Say what you will but I’m just telling you my story.
What happened is the Holy Spirit was quenched. Its like the flame died back but the embers were still glowing.
Consider, if you will, a football game. You’re at a football game, Northside vs. Warner Robins, with a friend. You’re both cheering and standing and happy. Your enthusiasm with your friends for the game is over flowing. You’re team wins. Northside! Your enthusiasm triples. You head to the parking lot continuing to cheer. Your friend says, “Let’s go get something to eat”. You say, “No, I’m going home.” Can you feel the excitement fade? Your friend can, just as the Holy Spirit can feel it when you don’t do the things that God asks of you. Your friend still loves you and isn’t necessarily mad or upset just not as elated as he was. God still loves you, he’s just not as excited to be with you as he was.
After considering it a moment, I figure that I quench the spirit quite a lot. What’s funny is (not funny ha ha) that I’m always saying, “Lord tell me what to do and I’ll do it.” God is telling me what to do! He tells me stuff to do every single day! But I’m not doing it, which brings us right back around to Matthew 25:14-28 and the parable of the talent. How can he trust me with the big jobs if I won’t even do the little ones?
So what do I need to do make my relationship with God as good as it can be? I need to give him every part of my life, even the parts I’d rather hide or ignore.
On a personal note; I took the tests. I love tests. I’m a teacher. Every time I take one of these tests I always turn out to have …multiple characteristics (I refuse to say personalities). Seriously one time during a teacher’s meeting we did this fun get-to-know-the -teachers-you-work-with game. I ended up standing in the middle of the room alone because according to the ‘what kind of teacher are you’ test I had equal shares of all traits. I call it multi-faceted but that’s not what they said.
I should write a poem and dedicate it to God
And tell of his unending love
And all the trouble that I’ve been
And how he loves me anyway
Even when … I sin
I should tell of how he picked me up
And dusted off the dirt
To find a lady underneath
All the sorrow and the hurt
Of how he teaches me
As tender as a lamb
That I am worth loving
Just the way I am
Of how he keeps on loving me
Even when I stray
Or tell a lie or break a promise
It happens every day
I try and try and try and try
But sometimes I think
That all I try are his nerves
Which leaves me rather pink
But still he stays with me
Even when I turn away
He never leaves my side
He is with me every day
Sometimes I’m embarrassed
By the things that I do
And wish he weren’t so close to me
So he’d have less of a view
But then he opens up his arms
And welcomes me back in
And I’m glad he never left my side
And gladder still that he’s my friend
Like two trails in the wood
One the path of righteousness
The other a practice of no-good
I see what lies on each
Both the benefits and the dangers
One of honorable friendships tried and true
The other of intercourse with strangers
They fork apart at the place I now stand
But choose I have not yet
And with each moment that I wait
I feel the consequence is more than just regret
