brenda’s thoughts, watch out I’m Christian

Good morning,
Well, how was my week of fasting
I did learn a thing
But it was hard
I was determined not to learn anything
And spent the majority of the week
Kicking at the walls of my cage
Twice my parents said, “Do you need some money for gas?”
In hopes of making me leave the house
Bless their hearts
They put up with so much
So what did I learn

• That I need to be spending more time with God
• ThatI need to get still, shut up and listen

And
Finally, but most importantly

• If I will wait on God he will provide
  Even a husband or peace

And truly I felt better after that
Though I may do more fasting of a sort this week
Because
I went out last night for the first time in a while
And ran smack into tares among the wheat
So
Think I’ll go back to fasting from people if that’s what’s out there

late archaic, quartz, projectile

totally cool
I found it
oh yeah
I rock
rock
get it
don’t make fun of the hat

my choice in music
list list/site will change and grow over time
great music dot com

I don’t usually get into the social/political arena but,
Durn!
Here’s two articles I snagged today
off our beloved internet media
Does it matter if he’s a lousy lover?
And!
A new campaign is aimed at getting every adult in the Bronx tested for HIV
Well?
Do they want us all having sex with everyone else or not?
You know the general public is too stupid to figure it out on there own!

Thank you Jesus, literally

But I will be doing some archeology this weekend, if it doesn’t fall through

So I feel better

I had cleaned out an old book bag and found my journal from January of 2005

When I first lost my house

It was labeled “Poverty”

And the first line was, “This will be awful”

I got all the way to July when the refrigerator stopped working

I just cried

I’ve been through so much

Sometimes I just don’t understand why

What did I do?

Is it my fault?

There was a poem on the inside cover

I lay back against the hill

My hair tucked up in the hood of my jacket

The sky was wide open in front of me

I could see forever

And forever could see me

But I was small

I hoped I’d go unnoticed

The world is so large

Why I can’t I just get lost in it

I remember that day

I wanted to walk into the woods and never come back

Then

A huge flock of birds flew right over me

And it felt like they were washing my sorrows away

I knew God was with me

I knew he’d take care of me

But I knew it would be hard

Tonight I pulled someone out of the mud/sand with my new car

I’ve never done that before

I was so excited

Let me tell you

First I’ve been home with dood who has me frying fish for him every day

My other kids (Sarah, her husband, his brother) all come over

With Roscoe

(Bassett hound)

We’re all sitting on the back porch swatting mosquitoes and laughing

When we notice Roscoe has taken off

He’s probably out in the woods behind the house

A clay-pit, of course

But it’s dark and he’s afraid of the dark

So everybody goes out looking

The kids took their truck

Pretty soon they’re stuck in the sand

No one else had four wheel-drive that was working except me

So I had to go down there and pull them out

I was so excited

I’ve never pulled anyone out

Everyone’s always pulling me out

How cool!

Anyway, what’s funny to me is that it’s a book about singles but I learned two things about marriage I hadn’t thought of before.

One is that marriage partners are supposed to be accountable to each other and hold each other accountable. Telling someone when they stray off the path is part of being a helpmate. (Most of the guys I dated didn’t’ think of it that way. Ouch, I went there.)

The second thing was this idea that your spouse will fulfill or complete you, that’s a bit much to put on a person. You should be whole before you marry or you’ll just bring the other person down.  And that’s not the purpose of marriage anyway. Marriage is partnership where two people help each other to be better at who they already are.

Wow, who knew marriage info in a single’s book! It does help you when you’re looking for Mr or Mrs. Right though.
Oh yeah, its written for Christian singles.

Where I accept the Lord as my shepherd

And follow him to green pastures and still waters

So I’m doing a kind of fast

I’m fasting from people

And junk food

And spending money

And worldly stuff

In other words I’m staying home accept to go to church

Eating tomato sandwiches

Reading Christian literature

Hanging out with my son

Sitting in the porch swing

And nothing else

Trying to get my thinking straight

I’ve read about “slippage”

Where you go to church on Sunday and the bar on Saturday

This is what I’ve been doing

Slipping

Slipping away from God

And toward the world

So

I’m fasting on slipping

And I heard about covenants

Promises

All the covenants that God made with his people

Christians

You and me (if you’re saved)

They were/are based on obedience

My obedience

Have I been obedient

No

So its time to get back into obedience

So I’m fasting on disobedience

So I can once again claim that the Lord is my shepherd

 3 Yet you are holy,
      enthroned on the praises of Israel.
 4 Our ancestors trusted in you,
      and you rescued them.
 5 They cried out to you and were saved.
      They trusted in you and were never disgraced.

 6 But I am a worm and not a man.
      I am scorned and despised by all!
 7 Everyone who sees me mocks me.
      They sneer and shake their heads, saying,
 8 “Is this the one who relies on the Lord?
      Then let the Lord save him!
   If the Lord loves him so much,
      let the Lord rescue him!”

 9 Yet you brought me safely from my mother’s womb
      and led me to trust you at my mother’s breast.
 10 I was thrust into your arms at my birth.
      You have been my God from the moment I was born.

 11 Do not stay so far from me,
      for trouble is near,
      and no one else can help me.
 12 My enemies surround me like a herd of bulls;
      fierce bulls of Bashan have hemmed me in!
 13 Like lions they open their jaws against me,
      roaring and tearing into their prey.
 14 My life is poured out like water,
      and all my bones are out of joint.
   My heart is like wax,
      melting within me.
 15 My strength has dried up like sunbaked clay.
      My tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth.
      You have laid me in the dust and left me for dead.
 16 My enemies surround me like a pack of dogs;
      an evil gang closes in on me.
      They have pierced my hands and feet.
 17 I can count all my bones.
      My enemies stare at me and gloat.
 18 They divide my garments among themselves
      and throw dice^[a] for my clothing.

 19 O Lord, do not stay far away!
      You are my strength; come quickly to my aid!
 20 Save me from the sword;
      spare my precious life from these dogs.
 21 Snatch me from the lion’s jaws
      and from the horns of these wild oxen.

 22 I will proclaim your name to my brothers and sisters.^[b]
      I will praise you among your assembled people.
 23 Praise the Lord, all you who fear him!
      Honor him, all you descendants of Jacob!
      Show him reverence, all you descendants of Israel!
 24 For he has not ignored or belittled the suffering of the needy.
      He has not turned his back on them,
      but has listened to their cries for help.

 25 I will praise you in the great assembly.
      I will fulfill my vows in the presence of those who worship you.
 26 The poor will eat and be satisfied.
      All who seek the Lord will praise him.
      Their hearts will rejoice with everlasting joy.
 27 The whole earth will acknowledge the Lord and return to him.
      All the families of the nations will bow down before him.
 28 For royal power belongs to the Lord.
      He rules all the nations.

 29 Let the rich of the earth feast and worship.
      Bow before him, all who are mortal,
      all whose lives will end as dust.
 30 Our children will also serve him.
      Future generations will hear about the wonders of the Lord.
 31 His righteous acts will be told to those not yet born.
      They will hear about everything he has done.