brenda's thoughts, watch out I'm Christian

The mindless rambling of this single woman...

I've been a little under the weather for the last couple days, so I went to the doctor who tells me it's an allergic reaction to sleeping with my cat Fred that got infected. I think he just isn't a cat lover.

I've been considering a husband again, kind of like considering a gym membership. Gyms aren't for everyone, you know. It may not have the activities that I want. Maybe I don't need it. Will I have to follow someone else's schedule and be surrounded by people I don't know? And, of course, which one do I choose? Will I have to sign a contract and then get flyers for years if I don't continue my membership? I don't know. Gyms just aren't for everyone.

I'm very excited about Halloween in the classroom this year. I found my life size movie posters of horror monsters and one of my students doesn't believe that pumpkins are eatable. So I'm cooking the jack-o-lantern. We'll make pumpkin bread. It'll be fun.

When I got there early this morning I emerged from the woods onto a sandbar where the sun was sparkling on the surface of the water and thousands of translucent flies hovered at the shore like fairies.  I was in heaven, my kind of heaven.

For the rest of the morning I waded in every chance I got whether there was a piece of trash I could pick up or not.

I arrived home with seven mud in-cased, antique bottles wrapped in my blue jean jacket, an old boat anchor that is perfect for my canoe, filthy dirty and completely happy.

I do.

On the one hand is Satan dangling temptations under my nose. "Look how easy it would be", he says to me. "Look what all you could have.'

"Here's a man, handsome, charming and in love with you, so he's an atheist. No one's perfect. Don't be judgmental. Maybe you can change him."

"Hey, what about this job? It pays well and you'd get a big office. So what if there's a lot of office politics, crude joking and it's not what you were called to do. No one's perfect. Don't be judgmental. Maybe you can change them."

"You ought to run that car off the road. Isn't it illegal to drive in the left hand lane if you're not passing? They're blocking traffic. You're going to be late."

On the other hand God stands with arms out stretched waiting patiently. He makes an absolutely beautiful sunrise just as I am leaving for work. Sometimes I don't even look at it.

He inspired people to create a Christian radio station that plays my favorite songs and has my favorite preachers.  The DJs pray and read scripture as if God told them exactly what I need to hear. Sometimes I don't even listen.

He's brought together the most wonderful group of people to form a church. He's called a man to be the pastor and continues to draw him closer so that his sermons are truly Christ inspired. While I did have the sense to join the church, sometimes I don't attend all the services and I don't take the time to get to know each one of those wonderful people.

Anyone else caught between these two or is it just me?

Has it been a long week for anyone else?

I remember hearing someone say, in a church that I attended several years ago, that "single people couldn't be counted on" because "they weren't reliable", "they quit early in projects". Naturally I was offended.

Later I admitted that I, myself, sometimes didn't finish projects I had started. Rudely, I was told that maybe that's why I'm still single. I thought about it and think that maybe, just maybe, this isn't a reason for being single so much as a result of being single. When I'm tired or stressed, such as now, because I have no built in support system (husband) I go till I burn out and then quit.

So this week my body keeps going while my mind is on its favorite fantasy. It's off in the salt marsh with the cast net. I must be transmitting images or thoughts mentally (or genetically) because my son has asked me to fry up some shrimp for dinner several times this week, which I did. 

"There is a 40 foot Chris Craft named ‘Sabbatical' that is anchored just off the Georgia coast on the inner coastal waterway, (in my dreams). There is no phone or internet signal. I am making breakfast, the kind that raises my blood pressure. The cabin is toasty warm but outside the early morning air is chilled by fog. Coffee, bacon and salt air mix. Through the window at the kitchen sink I've already spied a pair of dolphins swimming down river with the tide and out to sea. I'll try to get some fishing in before they come back this afternoon."
It's going to be a lovely, lazy day of writing and fishing. Maybe I'll find a marina where I can tie up and log on to check my messages, maybe."
...in my dreams!

Every day my students have to practice their handwriting using Bible verses, I generally let them choose their favorite one.

This is a verse that one of the kids found that, if you'll remember, answers a question I had...

Georgia National Fair ... I had a good time 

• meat roasting on an open flame outside the livestock tent,
• naked women flying overhead under the circus tent, OK she had on a thong and nipple patch-things
• the smell of onion rings and cow manure intermingle and still you eat the onion rings!
• the fella operating the Twirling Ring of Death is missing three fingers and still you ride it!
• people, people and more people, am I as fat as she is... throwing away the rest of the cotton candy
• fireworks by the lake and friends, you can't beat that with a stick
• I found the cutest handmade pink and green patchwork purse in the crafts tent
• cafe-roping, the girl with the long hair beat the pot-bellied fella with the cowboy hat, chicks rule

Feeling a little feminazi again, beware, here it comes,...told this to a friend and its so true, "I'm not saying all men are dogs, I'd just like to meet one that isn't."

The coffee's done and so am I...

...well I was drinking my coffee when the Lord laid on my heart a certain man in my church, and several others actually, that are a rod by which others can be measured, I bet you know a fella like this,

He is dependable and honest to a fault, I'm thinking of a fella whose kids are grown and gone, who takes on leadership in the church while being called to the ministry so he's going back to school while continuing to work, but what is most remarkable is that when tragedy hits his family he doesn’t' let it stop him, he doesn't take time out to feel sorry for himself, he doesn't ask others to carry his load while he wallows in self pity, he is still the rod by which others can be measured. (He’s married to a real nice lady; I knew you were thinking it.)

Personaly I'm real glad I know him

I stopped at a Starbucks with my son for a photo opportunity (he's taking photography) and oddly enough the breeze off the highway in front created from passing cars was very nice.

"Lord,

I know I do stuff I shouldn't.

I know I can't stop myself.

Forgive me.
I know your son Jesus Christ died on the cross as punishment for my sins.

I know that after three days he rose again and is coming back some day to gather his believers.

I want and am willing to take Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.

Amen!!"

Wow, how cool was that!

Welcome to the family.

Now go find a church and tell them what you did. There are a whole lot of people out there waiting to hug your neck.