brenda’s thoughts, watch out I’m Christian

As I was up unnecessarily early from a night of anxious worry,

To relax and restore me.

I saw the sun coming up and knew it was a gift from God,

A personal and lovingly sent blessing,

But I had a plan, a schedule, I wanted to be dressed and ready first.

So I spent time in front of the mirror,

Talking myself into a tizzy and fixing my hair.

Then, when I stepped outside the sun had risen.

I had missed my blessing because I wanted control.

A hummingbird flew over my head and I followed it to the porch swing,

Where I hoped to sit and relax,

But my eyes rested on the badminton net my son had set up.

He wanted us to play,

He downloaded a bootleg movie and wanted me to watch that too.

He wanted to spend time with me,

But I was too busy.

I had tangled myself up in superficial crap.

I looked at the badminton net and cried.

I cried because I’m such a fool.

So many wonderful blessings that I don’t appreciate

I made a decision right there to not stay late at work,

But to come home and play badminton,

And watch Spiderman,

And spend time with my son who loves me.

The hummingbird came back and tasted the nectar of the white and lavender flowers,

The sun oranged up like a second sunrise,

And I was grateful that God was good, loving, kind

And gentle in his correcting nudges.

I bought stuff for breakfast and I still need to lay out clothes for school and ask about seating arrangements and print out the first day worksheets and find my text books cause the ones I got aren’t mine and my computer isn’t even working yet and the light over my desk is blown and I don’t’ have enough desks but I don’t’ know where I’ll put more desks…..

Just breathe girl…

Next week I’ll have the same dream where I have over thirty horrible students who won’t stay in their seats, not enough desks, no lesson plans, not enough text books, the principal won’t answer when I buzz the office….

I hate that dream but it does make me grateful for the students I do get.

Man! Just breathe girl…. soon you’ll meet your students and fall in love with them, like you always do, good night now I’m gonna cry!!!

I’m told that Sierra Trading Post, no connection to the other, is a Christian organization and it is. I found the founders testimony, plus they have good ON SALE stuff! Can’t beat that with a stick.

This was just sent to me from a friend in south Georgia who obviously doesn’t use a cardboard camera like me!!! I didn’t know they had dots on their abdomen too.

Through the woods

Down the tracks

Across the highway

Under the bridge

Down the path

That runs along the river

Until I came to a bend

Where the water got shallow,

The bottom was sandy,

And I kicked off my shoes

And waded in

To wash off the mud and grass and stress

A school of tiny minnows swam around my feet

Daring each other to get closer

Water beetles like bumper cars twirled and spun

Water striders walked backwards up stream,

Darting here and there to maintain territory and find a mate

A single dragon fly lit on a slender blade of grass

As the water cooled, refreshed and relaxed

OK, someone sent me this and it so answers the “why do bad things happen to good people if God is in control” question. 

READ ON

“About Rick Warren (REMEMBER HE WROTE-PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE)

“Purpose Driven Life ” author and pastor of Saddleback Church in California.

Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God’s purposes (for my life)?

When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don’t get anything else done today, I want t o know You more and love You better. God didn’t put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He’s more interested in what I am than what I do.

Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.
Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.
Painful moments, TRUST GOD.
Every moment, THANK GOD.

This is beautiful and food for the soul. A friend sent it to me, and I would like to share it with you… “

Demons and angels battling based on the prayers of a man! Sounds like a Frank Peretti book.

Also sounds like people have more control based on choices made and prayer prayed than they know.

Talk to me, do people have power through prayer and choices (obedience) to change events????

The walking path meandered, through a controlled wooded area, as much as any path can meander when located on a narrow strip in the heart of a city. I stopped at a bench beside a bridge. Across the river there was an abandoned encampment. I wondered if the encampment was related to the grocery cart.

I got no peace from my morning walk. The river was as shallow as a puddle and left nothing to the imagination. Joggers and walkers, innocently out for their morning exercise, were a constant source of paranoia. Nothing stirred to divert my attention from the rumblings of my own conscious. Sin, unattended, only gets uglier.

We all fall and God extends the hand of forgiveness to all of us. It is in those moments before we take that hand that time stands still, as if God himself is holding his breath in anticipation.

I heard or read that God has dump trucks full of blessings waiting to pour out on us but we’re so busy trying to climb up the dump truck and dig out a few blessings for ourselves that he can’t give them to us. We just aren’t ‘in a position to receive them’.

Well I certainly feel like I’m having blessings poured out on me. For example, 

• I get my first half pay check next week and
• I get the keys to my new classroom today and
• the fella I paddle with now is so great to hang out with and
• dood and I will be moving into our own place soon and
• I’m being asked to take on more and more responsibility at church and
• I’ve grown so much closer to some really good friends and
• I’ve learned and am re-learning everyday to keep my focus on God even when turning way seems natural. I think that’s the most important thing. Don’t turn away even if your ashamed, even when something else looks terribly inviting or interesting, even when you’re scared. Don’t turn away.

Once I was given a ride on a large Air Force aircraft (k-135 refueling tanker). During the flight we were allowed to walk around (carrying our oxygen bags) and talk to everyone. I walked up to the cock pit. The view was incredible. Enormous cumulous cloud formations in all directions! We flew around and between them. I asked, “What would happen if we went through one?” The pilot (who later got in trouble for this) said, “lets find out.”  The approach was thrilling, as we came closer and closer to what appeared to be a massive white wall we all braced ourselves (except the people walking around in the back, which I later got in trouble for). Then we plunged in. After a few heart stopping moments of turbulence we were spit out the other side. Amazing!

This is how it feels to be headed for the pouring out of blessings. Amazing! Everything is on the verge of change and I know it. It’s both scary and thrilling at the same time, like a set of big rapids. I have this desire to just brace myself and ride it out because I know it will wash me up on the shores of a paradise.