brenda’s thoughts, watch out I’m Christian

I’ve been covered in pollen

And buried in stewardship

Visiting people at the hospital

Who have already checked out

Waking up when I’d rather not

Cooking what I’d rather not eat

Late for church, too early at work,

Middle of the night fender benders

Lost grocery lists, unappreciative children

So this morning

I followed a path

Under the bridge

Past the beer bottles

Through the woods

Away from the highway noise

Next to the creek

And into the… sigh

Into the pale green leaves

Vines hanging from trees

Slender gray forest

Tea colored water

Moving over sand banks

Rippling through fallen trees

Then I saw it

Swimming slowly up stream toward me

An otter

Man!

I am blessed.

Once again,

I was cross legged at the edge of the water.

Then I headed for the waffle house,

Jeewiz I love that place.

An Ode to the Waffle House

Banging and clanging

Dish washer steam

“Scattered and smothered”

I hear them scream

Sizzle of bacon

Coffee all day

Cheese grits and eggs

“Have a nice day”

Tonight

I saw a miracle

A person whose heart was hard

Gave it to Jesus tonight

A miracle

Have ya checked out the presidential candidates yet?

http://www.politics1.com/p2008-gop.htm

It’s good for a laugh or a cry depending how you look at the glass. The archangel is best for a laugh. The preacher, soldier, widow, Vietnam vet, elderly lady and the couple of good old boys are what democracy’s all about.

My son and I have a debate periodically over the value of companies. (He’s interested in the stock market.) He says Microsoft. I say Apple. Apples’ stock is higher. I think its due to their advertising campaign strategy. I think that Apple will be to Microsoft what Pepsi is to Coke.

I watched the musical Rent. Why does Bohemia always have to be related to a loss of morality? If not for that it would be an appealing lifestyle.

Is there an Alien 5? I get confused after the prison one.

First, let me say something about spring. Isn’t it interesting that people light up their homes with decorations at Christmas but at Easter God lights up nature with blossoms!

Second, something is blooming outside my bedroom window that smells like cake batter!

Third, I have to confess. I have learned so much about myself and God has really been speaking to me but I haven’t said a word because its all so very personal.

But here’s the key:

Your Devine Purpose will be revealed when your preparedness meets God’s plan.

You must be prepared. How do you get prepared? Jesus said, “How can I trust you with the big stuff if you aren’t a good steward of the little stuff?”

I think Satan has messed with our definition of stewardship because we always associate it with money and that is so wrong. Stewardship is about everything you are in charge of including your abilities and emotions.

(I heard this on a radio talk show; American Family Radio; http://www.christianworkingwoman.org/)

When David was a child in the fields watching the sheep he did not squander his time. He practiced the sling shot. He practiced the lyre. He practiced writing poems. He didn’t know how God would use these talents later in his life. These were the talents God gave him and he was a good steward of them.

We all have talents. God made you in a very specific way for a reason. You must be a good steward of who God made you so that when God calls for you to use those talents to glorify His name you are ready, you are prepared.

Saturday,

I have a tradition when I drive to where ever I’m paddling for the day of driving with the windows down and the radio blarring. I get so tickled when I think of people I pass because I know they’re wondering what that incredibly strange and loud noise is. It’s me… singing along!

If you’re like me and you love rock and roll but get discouraged by the lyrics, then you gotta check out Christian rock. Seriuosly, its good stuff. Try http://www.afa.net/

While I was paddling, listening to the steady methodical lap of my paddle as it dipped into the water,

Back and forth,

Back and forth,

Eyes forward,

Body forward

Back and forth

It occurred to me that it takes a great deal of discipline to kayak the lake. If I turn my head or body or if I don’t maintain even strokes the kayak turns to the direction I’m looking or leaning or away from the side that my stroke is weakest. It’s very annoying because I end up doing a lot of work and going no where.

This is just like my Christian walk. Where ever my eyes go (my interests) there I go. Where ever my body goes (my desires) there I go. What ever I’m weak at is what makes me stumble. If I keep my eyes focused on God and maintain a steady lifestyle of obedience then I won’t end up frustrated and discouraged.

Strangely enough, there is real peace to be found in living an obedient life.

Today I was determined to get on track. I used a sharpie to write two thoughts/scriptures I wanted to remember on the palms of my hands.

On my right hand it said, “Stewardship over the small stuff first” which is a very abbreviated translation of my loose translation of “Jesus said, “How can you be trusted with stewardship over the big stuff if you’re not a good steward over the small stuff.”

On my left palm it said, “Your Devine Purpose is revealed when your preparedness meets God’s plan.” Then I went to the lake to paddle all day where it washed off after only an hour.

Friday

I’ve been sorting my mental stacks and am finally seeing some sign of thought pattern and belief structure. Yeah!

Thursday,

Aside from going to work and being a mom, I’ve been trying to organize my spiritual life, set up some goals, make a plan.

I used to have an office with a couple of assistants in a large organization. Every morning I made a list of goals and after lunch I made another list of goals. The afternoon goals consisted of any morning goals that didn’t get done, getting ready for the next day and those darling out-of-the-blue items. I also set goals for my assistants and any volunteers I had charge of for the day. In retrospect my assistants should have set their own goals. It would have been less work for me and given them a greater sense of self worth.

I also used to write curriculum. That was no picnic. Goals were set and reaching them in the most efficient manner was the real goal. A reached goal also had to be measured quantitatively and qualitatively so that we knew how much of the goal was met. It also helped me understand why goals were met or not met, like doing an experiment all the variables had to be covered.

I would like to be this organized in my spiritual life. I don’t want to be flippant or shallow in my goal setting. I want to set a goal or goals that are

specific,

personal,

measurable

attainable.

I have a friend who set the goal of reading the Bible all the way through by a certain date. I have another friend who wants to be debt free by a certain date so that she can go on more mission trips. I’m not nearly so organized in my thoughts or desires but I’m working on it. Hey I just set a goal, now if only it were measurable or even attainable.

Today was more subbing with special ed. and took my daughter for a wedding dress fitting. She chose the one that makes her look like a southern belle not the one that looked … too slinky for my taste.

Tuesday

“Your Devine Purpose is revealed when your preparedness meets God’s plan.” I heard that on the radio yesterday morning. “You have goals at work and at home but do you have them in your spiritual life?” I heard that last night. I will be thinking and blogging more about this subject.

My mind is like a cluttered desk. Sometimes I have to stop everything and just organize my thoughts and beliefs and opinions. So I go out to the woods where nothing and no one can add to the clutter on my desk. Yesterday I was out there all day and still have mental stacks that went untouched.

I did see a lot of wildlife and a new trail. That was cool! In fact I saw the same heard of boar three times. The last time there were only two and they hadn’t noticed me so I decided to sneak up and get a good look at them. I was pretty close when they saw me and took off. That’s when I saw the rest of them. I was standing in the middle of the heard. Little pigs could be heard running through the brush and belly flopping into the swamp in all directions. Bless their hearts their little legs don’t move very fast.

Sunday

We had a visiting pastor from the watchman organization. Check out http://www.watchman.org This is an organization that compiles information on false Christian religions. Most of the stuff I heard I already knew but I was very surprised at what was said about Opra Winphry. You should check it out.

I was asked to be part of the singles counsel at my church on Sunday. They asked me because no one else would do it. I said, “yes” because no one else would do it.

Monday

Now Satan keeps reminding of whatever sin I am most ashamed of so that I know I’m not good enough to serve. That’s probably why most Christians are pew warmers.

Today I was in another special ed. class. They are so cute and funny.

Saturday

Saturday was lovely. I sat on the back deck all day painting, singing to myself (John Denver’s Sunshine), listening to the wind chimes and doing laundry. I was trying to do something that would combine abstract painting and collage using purple and orange and a lot of old jewelry but it turned out to be a folk art of my grandmother’s sewing basket???? Don’t ask.

Somewhere while painting each button and the design on each ribbon I was reminded of the Christian walk. I tend to think of maintaining obedience and good stewardship as tedious, tiresome, boring and unfulfilling. While I was deep in painting a piece yellow bric-a-brac it occurred to me that it was actually very relaxing, that a great deal of time could pass unnoticed and that a great deal of worries could also pass unnoticed. It lifted my spirits so much to think comparatively of daily chores and painting that I even did some ironing that evening.

Oh yes, according to a Lenten Prayer Calendar someone gave me

Friday, Mark 6:13-29, Pray for understanding and acceptance of God’s will in your life. (I thought it was very appropriate, which lends confirmation to my situation, though I don’t know what its confirming yet.)

Saturday, Mark 6:30-46, Pray that you might apply the wisdom and scripture and reason to your life.

It’s not just the poetic beauty of red and yellow autumn leaves or the pale green spring leaves against the grey and brown of roots and tannic water that reveals God to me.

It’s not just the engineering masterpiece of the spider’s web which is built in a single evening or even the spider itself designed to live in a fragile, vertical world. (What must his view of life be like!) that reveals God to me.

It’s not just the nasty smell of the swamp which is actually decaying micro-organisms which miraculously regenerate when the water level is high and decay when the water level is low in an incredible never ending cycle of life and death that reveals God to me.

It’s not just the feel of the cool temperatures and shaded pathways from a lush summer foliage and a tropical canopy that seeps into your bones and relaxes you down to your soul that reveals God to me.

It’s not just the charm of the naive young otter or the feel of tadpoles wiggling in your hand or the comical circling flight of the anhinga or the incredible agility and stealth of deer that reveals God to me.

It’s not just the sounds of quiet, the sound of peace, the sound of a single bird calling out, the sound the wind in the leaves, the sound a fish as it smacks the water, the buzzing of a horsefly or the sound of crickets and frogs as night falls that reveals God to me.

It’s not just the curious and intriguing tangle of animal dens, in and out of the water, around and under tree roots or the illusionary way animals use them to appear, disappear and reappear before your very eyes that reveals God to me.

It is all of this and so much more. It is the harmony, the absolute multi-dimensional symphony of the environment that surrounds you and engulfs you and fills you with the utter awareness and undeniable knowledge that you are in the presence of God’s work and the creator right is there with you!

When I walk in the woods I feel God’s presence and his pleasure.