Just a Job ?
Yesterday was my first day back in the classroom (temporary- long term sub). As soon as I opened the door and saw the tables arranged in groups, the reading area, the calendar I knew I was back where I needed to be. It was like seeing a loved one after a long absence and suddenly remembering why you loved them in the first place.
I sent out a mass email giving praise to God for the gift of the position. I said that God knew what was best for me. I think that’s truer than I know.
I walked away from teaching seven years ago because I was burned out. I had worked in an inner city school. Every day / everywhere was hopelessness. Even now my eyes water when I remember. They were just children. They couldn’t stop it or change it or control or fix it. They were just babies. Then one day I realized that I couldn’t change it either. For all my crazy teaching strategies, all my so very hard work it just didn’t matter. And something inside of me died.
So I walked away. I didn’t know what else to do with myself. I’ve been trying to figure that out for seven years. Yesterday I walked back into an elementary school classroom for what felt like the first time. It was like coming home.
