brenda’s thoughts, watch out I’m Christian

“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him:” Psalm 37:7

“My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.” John 10:27

I went out to the lake (really it’s just a pond) to eat my lunch and chill out. It was a looong weekend. With my binoculars I could see a small alligator on the other side of the pond. So I decided to walk over and get a better look at him. He’s only about three feet long. I know that when I get there he will have left but I figure that if I wait long enough he’ll re-surface and maybe I’ll get to see him. So I walk over and have a seat on a fallen log.

While I’m sitting there the scriptures “Be still and listen” come to my mind. Really it’s a combination of Psalm 37:7, possibly John 10:27 and a sermon I heard about a year ago.

It occurred to me that when I’m in the woods and I want to see wildlife I have to be still and listen for them. Generally there are animals all around me but my own hurrying and noise keeps me from seeing them. If I will get still, wait long enough and be quiet I will be able to see them. This is a lot like God though he isn’t hiding ( maybe he does blend in with the world he created) we just can’t see him for all our self-absorbed hustling and bustling around. Like the animals in the woods God is all around us we just can’t see him because we’re too caught up in our own work to see him at his. Well just like too often in my spiritual life I didn’t wait very long before I gave up and I didn’t get to see the little alligator. If I want to see that gator up close I’m going to have to plan to set aside enough time. Maybe I should schedule in enough time for God too. 

On the subject of perspective: 

A postive perspective is like a good cup of coffee in the morning. It can change your outlook for the whole day.

While on a white water rafting trip recently I was able to collect a few more quotable perspectives.

A white water kayak instructor was overheard telling his student, “Look where you want to go not where you don’t want to go.”

“It’s do-able”, says an amature botanist of memorizing all the names of trees in the region in Latin. “There’s only a hundred or so.”

Delighted but determined to continue I un-stick myself and gingerly make my way through the pale green leaves of young trees and over the matted surface of a healthy wetland. I am rewarded. I step out of the underbrush to find myself beside a duck pond. The surface of the water reflects the blue sky. Lily pads blooming with little white flowers seem to float in the clouds. Ducks and egrets are here. Water turtles are here too. I watch a large water turtle lumber across the mud to plop happily into the pond. A breeze, my old friend, sweeps across the pond and presses against me, cooling and refreshing me. The spirit inside me calls out in thanksgiving to God the creator of all things. I throw my arms out and sing, “My God is an awesome god. He reigns from heaven above, with wisdom, power and love. My God is an awesome god.”

This has been some kind of week for me. You already know I went to juvenile court with my son. I also began my bankruptcy process, aplied for and got food stamps, dropped a class at the tech school and failed a test at the same tech school. Just as I was wallowing in my olympic sized swimming pool of self pity my kayaking buddy tells me her husband wants a divorce!

Yesterday I wrote, “Perspective is a 20+ year old car in the parking lot of the welfare department with a bumper sticker that reads, “I’m spoiled”.

Today I went to the annual school-wide picnic and swimming party at the home of a single family. I tried to imagine a home big enough or a family wealthy enough to support that many people at one time. I imagined wrong. Sure there were several acres, but the families true wealth was in something I hadn’t imagined, generousity and kindness. They had no more money than most of you (I left myself out of that equation, remember I’m on food stamps) but they shared what they had.

Should I say, “Just when you think you got it bad someone comes along who’s got it worse”? …Too obvious! How about if I say something about the self induced brainwashing of the young and income handicapped through tee-shirt, keychain and bumper-sticker slogans? …Too cerebrally righteous, not to mention it misses the point entirely! What if I just say to step out of your own world for a moment and see through someone else’s eyes or better yet through someone else’s sense of value? …Too preachy! Oh well, that’s all I got. What do you get from my ‘this week’s lessons from life’ episode?

Did you ever find yourself in a place that was totally unfamilar and that you didn’t want to become familar with? Maybe you took a wrong turn or maybe you were miss-guided or given poor directions. I have.

Two days before Mother’s Day I was served with papers to appear in Juvenile Court with my son. Two days after Mother’s Day I appeared in Juvenile Court with my son. I’ll be holding that over his head for the rest of his life

I could go on about how strange Juvenile Court is but I could easily be accused of having a middle-class-white attitude so I won’t because I’m not so sure that I don’t.

I will take a moment to note that I am becoming aware of a pattern in my son’s and mine behavior. He continues to push or pull me out of my comfort zone and into situations where I am made to decide quickly and act boldly on my convictions where my convictions concern him. I believe in my son. So far my convictions have been correct, woe unto him if they are ever prooven incorrect.

Kids!