relationships, revisisted
As I watched my daughter and her boyfriend (both college age) struggle with trying to maintain a serious relationship I wanted so much to help. I wanted to say something that would make it better, give them some piece of advice that would answer all their questions, sooth all their hurts, but I had nothing. I had no idea what to say. How do you know when to stop and when to keep going? I don’t know.
Both my daughter and her boyfriend come from broken homes. Neither has seen the marriage of their parent’s work. However, both are close to their grandparents who have been happily married for ages.
What happened to my generation that we can’t make a marriage work but our parents could? Will my children be able to maintain a relationship? Have I neglected to teach them something vital to relationships, something I don’t know myself?
Perhaps I witnessed the hard work of married life and childishly vowed to not endure labor of that nature. Then when the going got rough in my own marriage I bailed (and I mean ’my’ in the generational sense of the word). I stubbornly, if not moronically, refuse to accept any degree of fault on my own part.
I apparently I have no idea that it takes compromise and a forgiving heart while my children have no idea that it takes hard work to make a marriage or relationship work. I wonder if any of us will ever be able to figure it out. I hope so.
