Sunday, February 18, 2007

Day 7, When I Call on Jesus

Not feeling my most beautiful this morning I opted to skip church. I watched, among other things, Sunday Morning With ...'what's his name'. I love that show (the liberal slant, dislike of the President and anti-war in Iraq agenda aside) because it makes me feel smart. There was a segment on a Buddhist camp in California where everyone said they felt at peace. I thought it would be nice to sit around and do nothing but study and pray all day but you wouldn't be fulfilling God's great commission of going to all nations and telling everyone about Jesus.

I should probably tell you that I'm reading Rick Warren's Purpose Driven Life and working on the Celebrate Recovery workbook (also a Purpose Driven program) http://www.purposedrivenlife.com/ These are two books which I have started and stopped several times. My goal, of course, is to finish both even if it takes more than 40 days or 12 weeks.

Today I am, once again, trying to identify what most controls my life and then give it over to God so that I can begin to find God's purpose for my life. After years of denial and a complete lack of self awareness I finally figured out that I have never forgiven myself for turning my back on God and marrying Tim 20+ years ago, nor can I get past my paralyzing fear that I will marry another abusive man. I know this is my problem but I'm cradling it in my arms like an over protective mother whose too afraid to hand her dying child over to the physician.

All the while this song plays in the background of my mind.

Nicole C Mullin

Call on Jesus

"When I call on Jesus

All things are possible.

I can mount on wings like eagles and soar.

When I call on Jesus

Mountains are gonna fall

Cause He'll move heaven and earth

To come rescue me when I call"

 

Like flowers blooming,

Children laughing,

Birds singing,

And the sun rising and setting

God's gifts of love are all around us

It's up to us to pay attention.

Posted by brenda at 22:54:09 | Permanent Link | Comments (1) |
Comments
1 - If you dont agree with everythijg RW has to say you might get kicked out of your church.

http://www.crossroad.to/articles2/04/4-purpose-resisters.htm>

Wow Very interesting. I can see how you can get carried away and start putting purpose before God. You can get carried away with anything. You alwasy have to be prayerfully following God's guidance and not your own. Thanks for the website very helpful. Brenda (Comment this)

Written by: Michelley at 2007/04/02 - 19:42:35
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